Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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