when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize