thus making me awesome and them whores
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
