Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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