nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
