dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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