We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
