Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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