like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
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Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
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He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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