Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
so much tequila, so little girl.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Damn victory sex feels great
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
