I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
