then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
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We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
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After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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