Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
