He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize