I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
