Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
