I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
