something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
