I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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