Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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