NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
