You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
