I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
