I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
