So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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