Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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