its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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