Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
