Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
