No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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