YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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