At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
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