I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My butt remains clenched, sir.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
