this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It's official drugs can't kill me
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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