You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I will pee on everything he values.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
