your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
