uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize