Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
