Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Randomize
