For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
