It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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