Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
