It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Panties = found
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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