he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
and you fell through a lawn chair
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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