i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
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