Princesses don't give blow jobs
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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