Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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