No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
