I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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