Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
