people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
