Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
