i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
