im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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