Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
