so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
