He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
