i can't believe i had my finger in that
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
