I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
