Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i believe in u and ur pee
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
