remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
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i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
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Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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